Utah Liquor Laws- Oh, My My My…


The LDS fanatics state legislature has decided to “simplify” the incredibly ridiculous Utah state liquor laws again. Will this stupid and absurd “musical chairs” of liquor law rule-swapping ever stop?

Under the new rules, the limit to how much alcohol that can be poured into a drink has been increased from 1 once to 1.5 ounces. That’s the only sane part.

But, now you can no longer order a “sidecar”, or an additional shot of that alcohol that we locals have been forced to order so we can “spike” our drinks and give them a normal ratio of alcohol.

You can have a shot of liquor in front of you with a drink, but now you can not have a shot of the same type of alcohol that is in your drink. So, if you are drinking a Margarita you can have a shot of vodka or rum or bourbon, but not a shot of tequila.


Now, I’ll just order two shots of Jack Daniels and a regular coke and pour both shots into my coke. These are the stupid things we adults need to do in Utah to have a normal drink.

Also, wine coolers and flavored malt beverages will only be sold in state liquor stores, so now that $6 six-pack of wine cooler (which are just as weak as beer) will cost you $9 with the state liquor store mark-up of over 40%.

The reasoning is that if kids see fruity drinks in the grocery store they will;

A) Steal the drinks (meaning kids here are all thief’s)

or they will

B) Simply want to drink because they see these tempting fruity drinks. Because that’s why kids drink alcolhol, right? For the fruity taste! I mean, they can’t get fruity drinks anywhere else, right?

So now, thanks to our intellectually-challenged state legislature, kids will not be drinking anymore in Utah because they won’t see fruity drinks at Albertsons…

And, of course, you still cannot ship wine into or out of the state and beer is 3.2% alcohol unlike every other state, where it’s 6%, because our lawmakers get a kick out of changing laws and rules about things they know nothing about (which is most everything).

Here is my solution;

Why not let adults drink whatever kind of alcohol they want, and let bars make the drinks the way they want, like in  other states, and then punish alcohol-related crimes much more severely? Isn’t that supposed to be the whole goal, to get rid of the bad things that can happen when people are drinking?

Here’s the ironic part of the whole thing- telling me I can’t have a shot of tequila on the table at the same time as my margarita does not make me drink less tequila, it makes me drink more. When the waitress gets to my table with my shot, I have to “chug” my margarita so I can then have my shot. And then I have to order another margarita because I just chugged mine. Most people don’t drink shots, they drink mixed drinks or beer and they order a round of shots that sit on the table until everyone takes the shot together.

In Utah, we have to do shots of our mixed drinks and beers so that we can do shots of liquor. Our legislature is so smart…


31 thoughts on “Utah Liquor Laws- Oh, My My My…

  1. That was great! You made my day. Tonight when I knock off, I’ll hoist a shot for Utah. Then maybe a double for Arizona. I’ll save Nevada for my next trip to Las Vegas or I won’t get anything done tomorrow. 😉

  2. Can you please expain to me any logic whatsoever in this??? I didn’t think so! Now the kids that want to drink will STILL drink. The adults who hook them up will STILL hook them up. So here’s the kicker….NOW the alcohol content of these “alledged” tuity-fruity kiddie drinks will be 5% to 6% instead of 3.2%! The ONLY reason this was signed by the governor was to increase the “sin tax”, PERIOD!!! Welcome to the most taxed state in the union.
    (text deleted)

  3. Hmmm…. I don’t care much about the liquor laws in Utah(anymore). I wonder, just what our elected folks are doing? or thinking? They could work on issue’s that are a bit more pro-active and helpful. I will have to start going to REALTOR’s day on the hill. Greg maybe you will have to grab RPAC by the ear and get them on this issue.

  4. Pingback: Funny Utah liquor law post, oh, my, my

  5. I wish the DABC would open another liquor store, closer to me; now the nearest one is in St. George, 120 miles away–a two hour drive for a beer run.

  6. Living in Big Water, we don’t have a bar or restaurant that serves alcohol. However, Page Arizona is 17 miles away and has several of both.

    Besides being a Realtor have been a musician for many years. I remember playing music in a club in Salt Lake, the night they did away with the whole “brown bagging” idea. That was fun. “Everyone, all at once on the count of three at midnight, run out to your cars and hide your liquor. ”

    It may help down the road, if persons who have ever had a drink help set the standards by which other persons drink in public. A novel idea…… maybe one whose time has come.

  7. I’m not much of a bar goer so that part doesn’t bother me to much and as far as the dabc goes I don’t care, I buy all of my liquor out of state

    • What do you mean by that. Are you not allowing fellow beings worship in peace? That is offensive and rude and uncalled for. For your information the LDS Church is full of wonderful people who just want others to be safe and happy. Also, the law is there because of stupid idiots like you, who decide that it is okay to drink so much that you endanger other peoples lives. You are the Moron.

      • and that is why this state is so mest up… You guys are say ing you are letting everyone live their lives, but all i see is you people trying to tell people how to live. I will live my life drink and be marry if that involves going out of state to live it and then come back to the nightmare of hypocrites then that is my choice and I would like for you mormons to stop telling everyone how to live!!!

  8. I don’t frequent bars these days. I did how ever for 25 yrs. and turned into a raging alcoholic. I’ve been sober now for 15 yrs. but still have a strong opinion about Utah liquor laws…”THEY SUCK!!”. If I wanted to fall off the wagon, I’d need a guide to get me through all of the absolutely rediculus rules and regulations this state imposes of it’s citizens. I feel that, it should be up to the individual how and what they drink, and when. If I do decide to one day fall off the wagon I think I’ll go to Wendover.

  9. If Stupid Utah is so stupid then you must first realize that penalizing drinking offenses after the fact means deaths on the highway or worse. Just get over it and realize there’s more to life than having drinks your way.
    Get a life.

  10. “Now, I’ll just order two shots of Jack Daniels and a regular coke and pour both shots into my coke. These are the stupid things we adults need to do in Utah to have a normal drink.”

    Classic… you and be both!

  11. It’s so true. The less alcohol they let us have on the table just means we have to buy more. Which means we are paying more for alcohol therefore boosting alcohol sales which lets the bars make more money and so on and so forth. The less I can have in my long island just means I’m going to be buying another in less than 2 seconds.

  12. Unless this particular law has changed, Bars and clubs are prohibited from making profit or marking up the actual “alcohol”. The high price we pay here in Utah is simply for the mix and the glass it comes in or the per drink “setup charge” for the bartender removing the cap from a beer bottle or pouring into a shot glass. Sort of like the good old brown bagging days when you paid $13 for a corkage fee when you brought your own wine. Show of hands – Who knows which business entity holds most of the liquior licenses in Utah County? That would be BYU (apparently holding a dozen or so liquior licenses doesn’t carry any requirement that you actually use them)

    • Are you serious? I thought there where special requirements needed including a actual facility and food service to even be considered for a license.

  13. Cliff,

    I haven’t heard this before- do you know what BYU does with the licenses or why they would hold them?

    I wonder if they have them because the city only allows a certain amount in each area and so if BYU holds them others can’t.

  14. Gregg,

    Utah is stupid. And so are you if you think caring about individual freedoms is not something to worry about. For 3 weeks during the Olympics liquor laws were relaxed and if I remember correctly, the state didn’t implode. This is as LDS issue, therefore a a church issue. I’m no history expert but last time I checked those two aren’t supposed to mixed. Kinda like a margarita and vodka.

    • AMEN!!!!
      If they let it go to make everyone that was coming into utah could have the right levels then why is it such a big deal now that their all gone!!!!

  15. Utah Homes man,

    You obviously did not read my post, where the entire thing is talking about stupid I think it is.

    Before you pick fights you might want to know who is on your side (Doh!)

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  19. We have no one but ourselves to blame for the lousy Legistature we have. We keep voting idiots into office. It has nothing to do with the dominant religion.

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